The Howling Hex

updates & corrections

Monday, February 28, 2005

3rd lp coast compleat

"Make me into that creature I desire," you prayed. It's a nice place. It's new to you.

Take a swig from the blood of the lamb. Let the heat lamp soak into your hands. Regret everything that you threw away for no money. In houses near the highway, no one is moving, no one wants to stay. I could get into that.

You really don't seem to care what happens to you but in a funny kind of way it's like you get everything for free. The lock was broke off so I knew you had been and gone. I'm all for getting you in, but if you sneak out the back again, how can we ever hope to make amends?

Heading out by carrier dog from Jackson, an eye floating cross the water carries me in her sight. As the river opens up the tops of the trees give way to round hills and homes, all deserted. Passing banks abandoned and cold, it still shakes me up that no one ever seems to catch on. Open hand, closed hand, open hand, closed hand.

the howling hex

Thursday, February 24, 2005

if you can't tell the difference, why pay less?

You know that hornets nest is just going to grow. To grow. The message, is it clear? Do I have to spell it out for you? The cause?

Calamitous Aggression Undermines Salvation's Enterprise

The prize: mock dissent and suicide. If you can't tell the difference why pay less?

Porn skanks poolside, moonshine on the moon. No one knew you. Detachment just kindled worship and romance. If you can't tell the difference why pay less?

In a court-ordered self-imposed exile backed by 4 out of 5 dogs that prefer the taste of their own balls to the love of another. Mock dissent and suicide threats. If you can't tell the difference why pay less?

Sunday, February 20, 2005

knuckleballer: dodge scene

I poured some coffee and went through last week's newspapers looking at obituaries. I found what I needed: a memorial service scheduled for today. From the newsprint epitaph I learned that the deceased had lead the right kind of life for my purposes.

I armed the security system and changed the passcode to one-six-one-zero, Hoyt Wilhelm's lifetime strikeout total. As I walked past my gate, into the early morning street, I popped a quarter atop one of its rails. A quick look when I returned would let me know whether someone had opened the gate. In these big estates you're far away from your neighbors. People don't really watch out for each other. I didn't even know who my neighbors were.

I hit the main street and got the bus at Fairlea heading north. At forty-seventh I got out and walked a few blocks crosstown until I came to the address I had found in the obituaries. In the driveway of an empty house matching the address in the death notice there was a gold Dodge Dart. In a few minutes I had the car up and running.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

behind the scenes

Jerk - audience member
Skull - make a funny face
Talking woman - delivers lines in comedy skits
Boston version - a cleaned-up routine
Gadget - a G-string

Man at Desk (picks up phone): Hello-- King, King, King and King.

Caller: Let me speak to King.

Man at Desk: He was assassinated sixty years ago. We still use his name out of respect.

Caller: Then let me speak to King.

Man: He's been recalled to his home state.

Caller (Exasperated): Well then, let me speak to King.

Man: He's on hiatus.

Caller (Yells): Then let me speak to King!!

Man: Speaking.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

vc: part 96

The Immortal Chon opens a bar called "The Red-Erection" across the street. It features cocktail waitresses dressed like nuns, which in both presence and name casts aspersion upon Victory Chimp. The two bars soon compete in a charity fundraising contest. Whichever bar sells the most Jagermeister shots will be named champion.

Victory Chimp decides that the best way to win is to allow more underage people into his bar. But the big contest night is a disaster and someone serves too many shots to one young customer with a fake ID, who soon dies.

After losing, and needing to leave town due to humiliation, Victory Chimp remembers that with his superpowers he could move his entire bar to any time or space within the multiverse. After visiting a few boring new universes he decides to simply move the bar back in time to a place before The Immortal Chon's bar ever opened.

Victory Chimp builds a fake indian village on the site so it will become protected land in the future. He also dumps the body of the dead underage drinker there along with some feathers. Upon returning to his original location Victory Chimp has thus thwarted The Immortal Chon's attempt to buy the land upon which to build the bar.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

brett somers

"As the day went on we would be lubricated, graciously; I mean we taped six or seven of those things at once. And we didn't re-shoot any of the answers, it was all improvised. They were cheap little pricks the producers-- but that was what made the show so vibrant back then. The pace forced us to be sharp; some of them, they wore down-- but Charles and I stuck it out, we held onto those seats for a long time."

"We didn't think about moving on to something else; we didn't look at it as biding our time until something else came up. We were content with it. I think I might have done one children's' movie during that time but only because my dear friend Bill Schwartz produced it-- later I did "Supership" for a few seasons, of course. I couldn't not."

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

remarks to acc by dick fosdick, 1904

We can reexamine doubts and not let them be synonymous with a lack of confidence. But how far down that road can one travel before one loses faith in the power of purpose? Faith may know but it can't be proved. You might prove that purpose has lead you.

And woe comes to them by many forms, there is another purpose reached only by those for whom purpose displaces sympathy and understanding.